straw house straw dog

please don’t get tired of meor of the way i lie next to youand tell you what i love about...

Mon, 20 May 2013 07:05:27 -0400

please don’t get tired of me
or of the way i lie next to you
and tell you what i love about you
more than twenty times

you should know this:
if i kept it inside
i’d get cracks all over
and it would pour out of me

writing about you in blue inkseems cheap and cliche in my last biology lesson they said that the...

Wed, 01 May 2013 13:41:27 -0400

writing about you in blue ink
seems cheap and cliche

in my last biology lesson
they said that the human body
contains 5.6 liters of blood

and all i could think about
was the number of ballads
i could write across my wall
in red warm ink before i
passed out

childishnotions: writing is safer, somehowbecause my pen cannot stutter like my lips do,and words...

Wed, 01 May 2013 13:27:16 -0400

childishnotions:

writing is safer, somehow
because my pen cannot stutter like my lips do,
and words get stuck in throats,
not fingertips, can’t stumble
on paper trails of blue lines
because writing is definite and clear
and no one can tell if i am crying
or laughing
through written words alone

Photo

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 10:53:31 -0400

untitled #6

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 10:38:00 -0400

at night
i lie awake
counting
not sheep
but the minutes
without you

at night
i lie awake
breathing
my own filth
wishing it was
your sweetness

at night
i lie awake
listening
to my own heart
and wishing
it was yours

untitled #5

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 09:35:00 -0400

we broke up today.

the cardigan you once gave to me
is still lying in my room.

it smells like me.
there is no trace of you.

we broke up today.

it is a spring day, and the sun
is shining, and

we broke up today.

soon - in a year, or maybe two,
i will forget the way your hand
felt in mine or maybe
the way you used to smile
when i said something nice.

i didn’t say anything nice today.

it is a spring day, and the sun
is shining, and i think this
would be so much easier
if the sky was crying, too.

untitled #4

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 09:51:53 -0400

i fell
i fell deep
deep down
in love

i felt my
bones break
as they hit
the surface

stitch me
back
together

Richard Siken, from “Little Beast”

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 09:55:37 -0400

Richard Siken, from “Little Beast”

untitled #3

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 09:45:00 -0400

when i first met you
i thought you were my
missing puzzlepiece
that would fit perfectly
into one of the holes
in my heart

later
i discovered
you were a whole
goddamn
scattered puzzle

i tried really hard
to fit the
single pieces of you
together
but it just didn’t
work out

so i scattered my own pieces
and glued them to yours

the finished puzzle
is a giant mess
that does not even
make sense

but the pieces
fit together
perfectly

rush

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 09:58:48 -0400

i want to lie close to you
and feel like i am
trapped in your ribcage

i want to feel surrounded
by the hollow sound
of your blood

i want to hear your
heart, monotone
and rapid

i want to forget
every song i’ve
ever known

untitled #2

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 08:23:46 -0400

i think love might be
like taking drugs

the only difference
is that

i wish my addiction
was addicted to me.

clean

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 12:32:58 -0400

i washed my bedsheets
and when i went to sleep
they didn’t smell like you
anymore

i dreamt of you nonetheless

maybe i should find a way
to wash the inside of my head

Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:32:04 -0400

Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out

Photo

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 14:45:03 -0400

Photo

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 00:31:56 -0400

thanksforcallingit-thebluesky: All the cows were falling out of the sky and landing in...

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 08:34:19 -0400

thanksforcallingit-thebluesky:

All the cows were falling out of the sky and landing in the mud.
You were drinking sangria and I was throwing oranges at you,
but it didn’t matter.
I said my arms are very long and your head’s on fire.
I said kiss me here and here and here
and you did.
Then you wanted pasta,
so we trampled out into the tomatoes and rolled around to make the sauce
You were very beautiful.

We were in the Safeway parking lot. I couldn’t find my cigarettes.
You said Hurry up! but I was worried there would be a holdup
and we would be stuck in a hostage situation, hiding behind
the frozen meats, with nothing to smoke for hours.
You said Don’t be silly,
so I followed you into the store.
We were thumping the melons when I heard someone say Nobody move!
I leaned over and whispered in your ear I told you so.

There was a show on the television about buried treasure.
You were trying to convince me that we should buy shovels
and go out into the yard
and I was trying to convince you that I was a vampire.
On the way to the hardware store I kept biting your arm
and you said if I was really a vampire I would be biting your neck,
so I started biting your neck
and you said Cut it out!
and you bought me an ice cream, and then we saw the UFO.

These are the dreams I should be having. I shouldn’t have to
clean them up like this.

You were lying in the middle of the empty highway.
The sky was red and the sand was red and you were wearing a brown coat.
There were flecks of foam in the corners of your mouth.
The birds were watching you.
Your eyes were closed and you were listening to the road and I could
hear you breathing, I could hear your heart beating.
I carried you to the car and drove you home but you
weren’t making any sense.
I took a shower and tried to catch my breath.
You were lying on top of the bedspread
in boxer shorts, watching cartoons and laughing but not making any sound
Your skin looked blue in the television light.
Your teeth looked yellow.
Still wet, I lay down next to you. Your arms, your legs, your naked chest,
your ribs delineated like a junkyard dog’s.
There’s nowhere to go, I thought. There’s nowhere to go.

You were sitting in a bathtub at the hospital and you were crying.
You said it hurt.
I mean the buildings that were not the hospital.
I shouldn’t have mentioned the hospital.
I don’t think I can take this much longer.

In the dream I don’t tell anyone, you put your head in my lap.
Let’s say you’re driving down the road with your eyes closed
but my eyes are also closed.
You’re by the side of the road.
You’re by the side of the road and you’re doing all the talking
while I stare at my shoes.
They’re nice shoes, brown and comfortable, and I like your voice.
In the dream I don’t tell anyone, I’m afraid to wake you up.

In these dreams it’s always you:
the boy in the sweatshirt,
the boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me
from jumping off the bridge.
Oh, the things we invent when we are scared
and want to be rescued.
Your jeep. Your teeth. The coffee that you bought me.
The sandwich cut in half on the plate.
I woke up and ate ice cream in the dark,
hunched over on the wooden chair in the kitchen,
listening to the rain.
I borrowed your shoes and didn’t put them away.

You were crying and eating rice.
The surface of the water was still and bright.
Your feet were burning so I put my hands on them, but my hands
were burning too.
You had a bottle of pills but I wouldn’t let you swallow them.
You said Will you love me even more when I’m dead?
and I said No, and I threw the pills on the sand.
Look at them, you said. They look like emeralds.

I put you in a cage with the ocelots. I was trying to fatten you up
with sausages and bacon.
Somehow you escaped and climbed up the branches of a pear tree.
I chopped it down but there was nobody in it.
I went to the riverbed to wait for you to show up.
You didn’t show up.
I kept waiting.

Photo

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 15:57:09 -0400

equinox

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 15:55:24 -0400

the sun and
the fireplace and
two layers of clothes
won’t keep me warm for long.

slowly,
i am beginning to realize.

i can’t fight the cold
when it is coming from inside.

hollow

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 12:09:00 -0400

there is an emptiness growing inside of me that
i can’t express with
words.

an emptiness that i will
never succeed in filling
neither with love -
nor hate.

on most days i
quietly believe that
a bullet would maybe
fit the hole in my heart.